Practice IOC
Scoring:
Criterion A - 6
I think I had a pretty good knowledge of the text, but I should have structured my context section at the beginning better.
Criterion B - 6
I showed awareness of a variety of literary features but needed to talk about the effect on the reader. I did not talk about that at all, and it would have made my arguments much stronger.
Criterion C - 4
I think I did a good job of structuring the IOC, but I should have written more in my planning, because it made it more difficult to structure it in my head while recording.
Criterion D - 3
I thought my language was clear, and I tried not to repeat words, but I did say "um" a lot.
Hey Olivia! I think you did a pretty job with your IOC practice. Haha, I wish I got this passage because I got easily confused with my Macbeth text. Anywho! You sounded pretty confident in your points which sold it for me. Since this is just practice you already know what to improve on which isn't that much besides the occasional "ums" and repetition of a few sentences. I like that you split up your analysis into the 2 sections of the passage. That was really strong and helped me understand your thinking better. Overall great practice, always a joy to hear your annoying voice. (jk you're great <3 )
ReplyDeleteHey girly. I think you were a little too hard on yourself for the grading, but it is always better to be too hard on yourself than too easy. I thought your language was well organized you had a pretty good overall organization. I think you did well with connecting each argument to the question and explaining the thesis. You definitely knew what you were talking about and knew what you believed but sometimes the wording was choppy so make sure you try to keep a flow within your sentences. I thought you did a good job in having enough details to discuss with the audience and you also commented on a lot of stylistic devices which was very well put!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kate, you graded yourself too hard! Your analysis was really strong and brought in many points I hadn't thought of. Your organization and language is great. You sound confident, just watch for repeating phrases too much (I do this too when I am trying to think of what exactly it is I'm trying to say). For stylistic devices, I would place you in a higher mark-band. While you didn't explicitly state what the effect on the reader was, you explain the device really well and discussed the effect on the text as a whole (which kind of shows effect on the reader??). Nice job!
ReplyDeleteHey!
ReplyDeleteA: 6
B: 5
C: 3
D: 4
Really calm tone and you settle in to a great way to organize your commentary. Be sure to give title, author, and year of publication. You can also give a bit of background about the text. Make sure you have a clear statement of purpose for the passage and HOW it is developed (you sort of just jump right in to your examples and analysis). This will help with organization. I agree with much of your peer feedback above (Madyson's especially)
This IOC is very analytical and it shows general understanding rather than a memorized script which allows for the commentary to be a lot more coherent. I agree with everyone above that describing the relationship of the excerpt to the text as a whole and its important to the narrative is an important part of the commentary. I completely understood your analyses of the word choice and the use of the 2nd person pronouns in the development of the role of the children throughout the novel. It was also interesting how you brought in aspects of the other chapters and its realtion to Miss Lucy's speech. The difference in being shown that one is isolated to being told one is isolated is a very good notion that you were able to emphasize and you did a really good job staying on topic. GOOD JOB:))
ReplyDeleteAs many have already said, I do believe that you were too hard on yourself with your grading, although reading through a few of these it seems as though that is a common theme among other people as well. I certainly think your preparation was way more structured than mine was, and definitely set your up to effectively follow your own thought process. Only comment is yes, at times you were repetitive, but I think if you can use that to your advantage and try to repeat the points of your argument that tie to your thesis, it will help the grader remember the point you are trying to make. The grader, and Mrs. Genesky, will have to listen to this for 10 minutes straight without being able to rewind or go back, so its important to remind them of what you are trying to do. Being repetitive can be okay in this case, if used effectively. All around good points and decent analysis even if it was not very explicit!
ReplyDelete